Friday, April 3, 2009

The Last Straw.


Jesus. Look at them. I hate people who just don't stop smiling. I mean, really? What delicious benzodiasapine are you all on? There are starving children in Ethiopia. Polar bears are eating each other while Klondike Bars lie in puddles. Michael Jackson is touring again. There are people passing you by who think that there's actually some kind of bean in a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino (true story)! And you just stand there in a politically correct diverse group, with your perfectly-mixed-breed dog, smiling to yourselves, wearing your Old Navy clothes (which are always so weirdly proportioned that the few I actually like never fit me). And 3.5 kids in the scene! What the hell? Where's the barbecue and Arbor Mist, you bastards? I bet you're gonna have fancy Jello-molds too. And Neil Diamond on the stereo (you do know that he sucks, right?). Stop deluding yourselves, Suburbia! Life is tragic. It has weird smells. I hope one of your kids sprains an ankle on the Slip'n'Slide.

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