I can't believe I ate the WHOLE thing.

Mmm, Whole Foods Market. The patron saint of grocery stores. They're environmentally friendly; they have a ridiculous nutrition section; there's not a smidge of hydrogenated fat in their products; they're super vegetarian-friendly; they host cooking demonstrations; they rank as 22nd in Fortune's 100 Best Companies to Work For; and hell, the Obamas like to shop there. What more motivation do you need to go there RIGHT NOW?

Not convinced? What's wrong? The prices? Well, yeah, I know... the only people who can really afford to go there regularly are wealthy, New-Age white people. But here's a secret. There's another reason people go to Whole Foods. The real reason...

FREE SAMPLES!

(Left: Fig & olive crackers, Right: Feta cheese with sundried tomatoes)

Yes, indeed, 95% of the time you visit Whole Foods, you're going to find at least one tray of organic fruit, vegetables, cookies, gourmet chips, cheese, bread, chocolate, etc. You could go there on a Sunday afternoon and sample your way into a free lunch.


And you don't even have to be a neurotic health-food freak. Lardy junk-food addicts will find their share of delights. Look! Potato chips! Krinkle-cut!

Moral of the story? Everyone at Whole Foods may seem like good, pious people. But we're all just here for the organic/fair-trade/environmentally-friendly gluttony.

"Yeah, honey, I'm gonna pick up the wheat-grass, flax-flakes, and, oooh, granola bread!"

NOM!