I know you're homeless, but you're not talentless.

Sitting in traffic, when suddenly:

Aaaw. (invisible tears stream down)




Two days later, sitting in traffic. Same time, same place:

Hey, man. Now you're just being repetitive.

How about a little creative begging? Do you realize that pretty much all the other bums are holding the same sign? What makes yours any more convincing? Do you expect me to really believe that your situation is more dire here on 117th and 40th than, say, the lady on 127th and 88th? I've seen one bum whose sign read: "Why lie? I need a beer!" And if I had been at a red light, I totally would have given him a couple of bucks. Because a) it's believable, and b) it made me giggle inside. And you know, a lot of bums in the past would actually perform some kind of small service or entertainment for money. It's hobo law #5: "When no employment is available, make your own work by using your added talents at crafts". It's not like I want you to clean my windshield (you can't compete with the street kids in Mexico anyway). Just add a little flare, charm me into giving you my money. Make begging lucrative! Write a limerick on your sign! Play the spoons! Or something.