Move Over, Jesus Fish.

::sigh::

Honestly, I don't understand. Did I miss something? Can someone tell me why these damn family stickers on car windows are so popular? Am I the only one who wants to sneak around a parking lot and place an ominous X over random sticker-family members?

I know this little fad has been going on for a while now, maybe a couple of years or more. But I have to talk about it. My main question is, Why would you advertise your family like that? For one, it's just annoying, like the parents who send album-loads of baby pictures to their family and friends (your kid can shit on the toilet now, congrats). Secondly, it sometimes feels like the beholder of the stickers is boasting some kind of social perfection- "Check it out, 2.5 kids and a dog! Quintessential suburbanite, bitches!" And on that note, how does one not feel like a sickening sugar-coated cliche? Beaver Cleaver could kick your ass. Then what about the people who have but one or two stickers? They're just asking for pity, especially if that one sticker is of their dog.

But more than anything, I question the logic behind this fad. The first time I saw these stickers, however long ago that was, the first thought that came to my head was, "Now if I were a predator..." Call me cynical, evil, disturbed, whatever. If I were a predator out on the road, these stickers are all I'd keep my eye out for, because then I'd know which cars lead to households with plenty of possessions, and if there are any kids or teens for the taking. With any luck, the school at which the children are "Honor Students" will be on the bumper too. Stalkerlicious. Some stickers even have the names of the family members! Really, people, come on. That's like holding your baby over a balcony. Okay, not quite, but it's dangerous. Keeping-It-Real-Mom knows what I'm talking about! (Now, I don't know exactly how real she keeps it, but at least she would agree with me).

OMG, Obama.

So, yeah, Obama’s in. (Confetti falls down, woo. [This is not sarcasm, I really am happy about it.]) And if this has not been the biggest inauguration hullabaloo ever, I’d like to know what was. Starbucks even had patriotic cup sleeves for a day, each with squishy, heart-warming quotes from past presidents. On my way out of school to watch the swearing-in at home, I saw a big gathering of people in the library watching George Sr. and Barb on the tellie, waiting for the big moment. Of course, some people were decked out in their Obama gear. So cute. It’s great that this past election has gotten even the most apathetic people (such as myself) to take an interest in the political situation. But I’m tempted to say that it’s really another fad/trend; throughout 2008 I saw the bumper stickers, the pins, the t-shirts, the hats, but I didn’t hear much about why people sported the propaganda (for either Obama or McCain). A lot of it seemed compulsive, though ultimately, just about all of us had our reasons besides party affiliation. And if it is/was a trend in any way, shape or form, it’s been one that’s actually significant and socially beneficial-- we’re all paying attention now, aren’t we? At least more than we were before. Or maybe it’s not so much a fad as it is a reaction of desperation and fear. We know we’re in deep shit, but we’re still doing the wave for some kind of upward potential (or at least those of us who support Obama are). It’s one of those “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” periods… as long as we can still afford the sugar.